The trope is that all anglers lie about catching fish.

That isn’t fair. Moreover, it isn’t even close to accurate. Anglers lie about not catching fish.

We all know the real reason why you’re not catching fish: you couldn’t do it. They’re simple organisms that simply pursue basic biological impulses. How are you supposed to contend with that? Sure, you could use a worm and a bobber. But you’ve decided to up the difficulty and give the homely and modest fish the advantage. And they’ve taken that advantage… not your fly.

There is no reason to simply shrug when you’re called to the carpet for your empty creel. If you can’t get creative enough to catch a fish, at least use some creativity in the excuses that you give.

I’ve divided the excuse arsenal into eight categories. And yes, I did use alliteration:

Personal

• I was off today.
• I’m really not a great dry fly/nymph/streamer fisherman.
• Just couldn’t get my head into the game.

Philosophical

• Its really more about the experience, you know?
• I mean, what I really needed was a day outside.
• That’s why they call it fishing, am I right?

Political

• This stream just isn’t what it used to be since  [insert politician from opposite party] got into office.
• Climate change, man.
• All those liberals/conservatives are keeping too many fish.

Pragmatic

• This rod just can’t cast where I need to get the fly.
• Yesterday would have been the better day to be out here.
• Of course, the one box of flies I need is in my other pack.

Piscatorial

• The fish were just acting all weird.
• Someone must have  spooked them before I got here.
• These fish are really smart.

Puzzling

• I don’t know, I did great the last time I went out.
• They were eating BWOs; I was using a BWO; I don’t know what the problem was.
• The guy at the fly shop must have been confused when he told me to come here.

Purposeful

• Really, I was more interested in working on my spey casting than catching fish.
• They’re probably getting ready to spawn so I kind of left them alone.
• I got some great scouting in today.

Photographic

• Check out these sunset pictures – they’re gorgeous.