I’m not going to brag and say that I’m some kind of fallfish catching phenom. I’ll simply let the evidence speak for itself. At a purely quantitative level, I’m super good at catching fallfish.

Want proof?

I hauled in some real fine specimens the last time I went out. Which, it just so happened, was the Saturday before Christmas. I was the first person in the door at Target that morning and I caught some lunker fallfish. There is a very good chance I am unique in that eminent distinction. Sadly our Christmas cards have already been printed.

You might be thinking, “fallfish are great and all, but have you ever thought about other species?”

My answer is a simple, “yes. A lot. Every time I go fly fishing, actually.”

Your bewilderment is justified. But that’s just it. The impressive part of my fallfish prowess is that I’m not even trying to catch them. Inexplicably the universe brings us together. Trout stream? Fallfish. Bass river? Fallfish. Salmon tributary? Fallfish. I bet this next year I pull one out of the surf.

To be clear: I catch other fish besides semotilus corporalis. This minnow (the largest minnow in the East, mind you) always ends up on my catch report. “…and a few fallfish” is my caveat and my asterisk and my cherry-on-top. Nymphs, dries, poppers, and streamers all seem to lure out fallfish. All four seasons: fallfish.

I’m too fallfishy to fail.

So I’ve embraced it. It’s a part of how I fish. Like a gummy-lipped albatross, the fallfish adorns my each and every angling exploit. At times it is the first fish I catch, breaking the seal on the day. Other times the fallfish makes a comical appearance. The most perfect cast, made to the troutiest spot, with the greatest of hope… will yield a fallfish. There are even times when I do just catch fallfish.

There probably exists a parallel universe where Norman Maclean’s opus celebrates a Montana family bonding over fallfish. Where Charles Orvis opens a tackle shop in Vermont to help anglers near and far catch fallfish. Where Fallfish Unlimited champions the promulgation and preservation of the fallfish. They’d just have to alter the acronym a bit.

Again, I don’t mean to brag. Honestly I can’t take credit for a gift. I haven’t earned this honorable station. If the fallfish has taught me anything, it’s humility.

…and to always wash your hands after catching fallfish.