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You are Not a Trout Bum

Why? Because you’re reading this, for starters.

A real trout bum isn’t going to be online, clicking through articles about fly fishing and fly fishing miscellany.

A real trout bum would be fishing. If not fishing, he or she would be doing what needed to be done to make fishing in the immediate future possible. I think that my writing isn’t half bad, but I can’t imagine it is must-read stuff for the person who would appropriately bear the title.

Like Eagle Claw rods and PBR, the term Trout Bum has been liberally appropriated by all manner of fly fishers. Ever since 1986, when John Gierach’s book titled with the phrase was published, the words have become a self-bestowed badge of honor. People from across every social stratum consider themselves trout bums.

But that just isn’t realistic. If everyone is a trout bum then no one is, or something like that.

Or, how about this: If it bothers you that I’m accusing you of not being a trout bum, then you probably aren’t one.

I don’t want to feel like you’re being attacked. I am sure that you are really, really into fly fishing. If you were to tell me everything you know, share your angling expense report, and rattle off where you’ve been I bet I’d be impressed. Seriously. No sarcasm. There is a very good chance that you’re an angling enthusiast or a fly fishing aficionado or a hardcore fisher-person.

You’re just not a trout bum.

And that is okay! That means that you probably know where your next paycheck is coming from. Tonight, you are going to sleep in a real bed rather than the bed of a pickup. You might have a family. Hopefully they see you pretty frequently.

The real deal, authentic, 24/7 dirt and flotant under the fingernails trout bums are out there. They’re just few and far between. It isn’t that easy of a lifestyle to maintain in the 21st century. The street cred they have earned among their fly fishing peers has taken devotion, sacrifice, and – don’t take this the wrong way – some questionable life choices. If it works out, great. More power to you. In my experience, it looks an awful lot like a piscivorous version of Russian roulette.

Legitimate trout bums are the less-than-one-percenters. Not the one-percenters with affluence and the corresponding time to fish. Not the one-percenters that guide, own a fly shop, or have otherwise made a living off their love for fly fishing. Not even the one-percenters that simply have a sweet deal going where they get to fish all the time.

The trout bum is like a cowboy with a sling pack, a drifter in waders, a fly rod wielding ronin.

You’re not a trout bum. But there is nothing barring you from the occasional fantasy or vicarious living. There is no arguing that what you get from second-hand accounts (because do real trout bums have social media?) and potential encounters (if you happen to be in the right bar at the right time) is captivating. Their stories are spectacular. Their lives are fascinating.

And for one reason or another, their trout bum journey is what it is.

Your journey doesn’t check all the trout bum boxes. Which, again, is okay. Even if there isn’t a catchy and desirable moniker for whatever you have going on, enjoy it – and the fish that it brings – for all that it is worth.

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12 comments

  1. Les Crews says:

    Personally, I consider myself to have asiprations of becoming a trout bum one day. One day when my grandkids are grown and have lives of their own, my wife and I are comfortably retired, and the only thing pressing is mowing the yard 3 times a week like my retired neighbor does.
    At that time I hope to have the health, both physically and mentally, and the motivation to wade the currents for the fish that I love to catch and release. I’m not there yet, but one day perhaps.

  2. Rick Forge says:

    You can’t try to be a trout bum, it just happens. One day you wake up, most likely in the back of your truck or on a mattress that has more peaks and valleys than the places you fish, and the first thing you think about is where to chase the adipose next. You prefer pop tarts on the drive rather than the farmers breakfast at Lou’s Diner. You grab a box of greasy deep fried chicken livers when you stop at the roadside station to fill the tank with gas. You prefer PBR’s unless there’s Trout Slayer or a bottle of Dry Fly Whiskey. You choose your fishing buddies, not vice versa. Most importantly you fish for trout because you can and at the end of the day it’s never about whether you used a purple haze or a madame x or you caught a brown or a ‘bow. It’s much more than that. If you’re a trout bum you can’t explain nor do you need to. You’re searching for something you never really want to find. You don’t need to, you’ve already found it.

      • Rick Forge says:

        And that would be an “improved clinch knot”…keep it simple.
        My wife reaffirmed my obsession this morning when she caught me changing out my WF line fro a new one. She watched as I took off the old line that was cracked and had seen its last days resting on the water …well sort of on the water. She questioned why I was keeping the line as I carefully wrapped it on an empty spool. My response was to the point ” I only buy floating lines because if you wait long enough they turn into sinking lines”. She just shook her head and mumbled “you’ve got it bad don’t you?” and walked away. I guess she now knows what the “it” is…..

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